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About Deviant it's only you, beautiful...Female/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
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I miss you in the vaguest way,
           Sunday morning, Saturday's name already forgotten.
He was dust in my hair anyways,
           These things I know you know.
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You kiss ashes.
A mouth full of vicious, rotting, piano key teeth,
that your tongue plays aptly.
Sickly codas spew into the air.
we make music that no one want to listen to.
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 0
Sorrow and night.
I only ever think about you in sorrow
& night does not bring us together.
This is not love.
This is not.
This is
     -- this.
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 2 3
Desperate flesh.
I waste my life trying to forget your name
fall out of synchrony,
but I know if I ever saw you
we would still breath in key
night would find us in desperate flesh.
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Night is caustic and unforgiving and unrelenting and --
it is never really night here.
You know that, and
- though the skies get grey and daunting -
I know secretly we both long for the pitchblack,
where it does not matter that our lips are moving unendingly
in silent vows of 'Iloveyou, Iloveyou.'
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 0
Admissions -- lies.
You know it is only drunkenly that I make these admissions;
that these leering, veering lies
come to rest on my tongue.
I'm undone -
I'm missing you.
My heartbeat falls to pieces
it is desperation that finds me
picking up those lonely, lost
My tired fingers cannot weave them back together fast enough
it is desperation that finds me
picking up these lonely, lost
My tired tongue cannot move fast enough to gather up these whispered vows
it is desperation that finds me
pouring out these lonely, lost
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 0
Friday --
I remember Fridays
writing letters to the dead,
saying all the things
that I had never said.
And you have to feel it;
the sorrow in my head,
remembering the warmth of you
lying in my bed.
And you have to see it:
the sorrow in my eyes,
remembering the warmth of you
lying by my side.
And you have to hear it:
the sorrow when I said,
"I'll never spend another Friday
writing letters to the dead.
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 1 0
Walk on.
I do not love him
& my touch is lies;
too blue skies
travesties and tired feet,
your quickfire heartbeat.
          we walk the street.
monday we meet,
fail to greet -
           walk on.
we pass by; we lie,
whisper good-bye.
dull, our feet hit the street -
             walk on.
forget everything we ever had:
our feet
the street
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 3 3
I have spent every hour
breaking you down to the bones
now I am left
with handfuls of ashes.
I remember
dreaming you under;
drowning you in the turgid waters
of your own apathy
waiting until sundown,
when I could pick your body
from the waters
Years of scrapping down your skin
left me with more ivory and more lies
then I will ever be able to bury -
there just isn't the space
in the cemetery.
I take you to a vacant lot,
dig deep and throw you in;
skip the eulogy
go straight
to goodbye;
No one wears black
there are no tears;
I Scatter my handful of dirt
leave you there
in an unmarked grave.
You deserve nothing better.
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 2
Friday night you play doctor; cut into my skin and hit every vital organ as you go, wasting no affection in your callous touch.
'It's cancer,' you say.
'Love like cancer,' you say.
'We'll have to medicate,' you say.
The words you prescribe me are sorry remedies, but nothing I can't swallow. I feel them catching in my throat and I wash them down with one great swallow of regret.
Placebo effect – they fix nothing, but make me believe that I am cured, that this love like cancer is cured.
'But you're still dying,' you say.
'I'll kiss you one last time,' you say.
'Goodbye,' you say.
Saturday morning you play priest; cross my heart and lay me to rest, consumed by cancer – this love like cancer.
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 7 6
These days are devastating,
                          tempting -
sunshine and cracked lips        
spewing lies.
Too blue skies;
travesties and tired feet.
Your quickfire heartbeat
roads begging to be walked,
words screaming to be talked.
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 2
Mercy and salvation.
you tell me you're     fond
         of mercy
               and salvation.
i pray until my lips
i think god
             (in his senility)
has finally
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 1
False hope.
The day is sombre, and was cold and grey from its dawning -- our own pathetic fallacy.
We speak with false hope, too afraid for the death of her. I am a stranger and cannot celebrate her living. I shake from cowardice and fear, not at the thought of losing her, but at the thought of how things might change. I hate her frailty, and my mother's aging face; the clichéd grey hairs and red swollen eyes and sorrow.
She laughs through her tears and I try to be strong, try to pretend I don't love her enough to miss her. I write these words, but doesn't know if there is truth to them. I feel less than human; detached.
We stand in weighted silence and maybe one day it will burn me to remember our small talk and my hollowness.
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 2 2
My breath on the metal.
in between the silence of her voice and his
i am jealous.
my breath on the metal and
the electric hum are pitiful consolations
for words of affection never spoken.
these words are wrong.
my breath on the metal --
             so far away.
my breath on the metal.
fingerprints on your skin that are not mine.
:iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 0
kazakh :iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 2 dancE :iconinfidelity:infidelity 0 0


The colours of a sunrise :iconevana:evana 7,452 711 God of Fire - Fox Fire :iconashwings:Ashwings 21,606 1,798 Self Portrait - ME :icondchan:dchan 401 162



it's only you, beautiful...
Sorry if I flooded your inbox. I get drunk & inspired & bored and it's an awful combination.


Add a Comment:
KelzJoannides Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011   General Artist
thank ya for the fave ;)
midnightstouch Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi! :wave: Thank you so much for the :+fav:! :)
Miiuppet Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2008
thanks for the watch! :D
infidelity Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2008
No problemo, your art is fantastic ^^

Tis Cass, from FP, p.s.
Miiuppet Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008
aw thanks x3
ahh, oks lol hello :P
hungerforperfection Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2007
Thank you for the fave
0scuro Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2007   Photographer
thanks, u live in Toronto by chance?
blue-lace-project Featured By Owner May 29, 2007
thank you for stopping by my page
saturnineguise Featured By Owner May 20, 2007
Thank you so much for the watch and the favourite. =)
amodestmouse Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2007
thanks ya
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